WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
