Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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