Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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