do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
