i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
