remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
