the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
