She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
