You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
