whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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