Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
