The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize