Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
