summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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