Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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