You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
