I bet he comes in French.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize