Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
