How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize