i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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