It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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