The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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