My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
