I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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