There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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