Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I will pee on everything he values.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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