well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well you can't waste a boner
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
