I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Boobs are out for the taking
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
