She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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