I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
