God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
