yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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