You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Randomize
