I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
