dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize