i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
