Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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