grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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