We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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