I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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