Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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