The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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