My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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