my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
