My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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