Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
