I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
