Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
