forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
