I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize