So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
