I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
