you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
