okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
