I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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