So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize