Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
