ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
